


Your Love Is My Turning Page

by generalbux



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-08
Updated: 2018-03-26
Packaged: 2018-05-25 15:59:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6201709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/generalbux/pseuds/generalbux
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hux and Kylo are teenagers in highschool. Hux moved to Kylo's school and instead of being a jerk Kylo is nice. Lots of emotions. I can't say you won't cry a couple times.<br/>(With story does involve some pretty heavy things about child abuse so fair warning)</p><p>Also listen to the playlist I made for this: https://open.spotify.com/user/1224032000/playlist/6RQdcfB5SE8QeDPQyzpjsH?si=iVF4o7X4SFWDjDxv72Pv3A<br/>Or the song that inspired it all: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Cry85KUzzU</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. What love is

 

> _What even is a love story?_
> 
> _Is it two strangers who meet and know they are going to be together forever?_
> 
> _Characters falling in love so quickly you barely had time to turn the page?_
> 
> _How about some love triangles?_
> 
>  
> 
> _These things don’t happen. They are way too predictable. Love is unpredictable but at the same time what really is love? Is it just the feeling in your chest when you see someone? Or is it something way more complex than that?_
> 
>  
> 
> _See I’ve never believed that I could be loved. I never have. I’ve been told I never will be. That I’m never going to live up to anything. I’ve accepted that thought. I’m not expecting my life to be much more than a routine. Boring really. I guess we’ll just have to see what happens. See if some way I can change that._
> 
>  
> 
> _12:31 AM April 5, 1992_
> 
>  

The ginger haired boy wiped the forming tears from his eyes. He took a deep breath and closed his book. He wrote in it every day what his thoughts were. Most of them being frustration about his father. Getting up from his small desk, being as quiet as he could, he crawled into his bed. He reaches over to turn off his bedside lamp. Wrapping himself with the blankets he whispers, “Good night”.  He closes his eyes, trying to sleep.

He woke up to a loud bang. He started to shake from the sudden sound but he _knew_ what it was so he turned the other way. Curling up his warm blankets to block out any noise. Taking deep breaths, he brought himself back to sleep.

The alarm next to his bed went off at 6:15 am. He grumbly slapped the noisy box knocking it off the side table. He quickly sat up and grabbed the clock. Setting it back down to its spot on the table. Moments later he finally got the motivation to get up. He was starting a new school for the third time this year. He knew that he was staying here to finish the school year. There was no time to move again. He put on a old nasa shirt and blue jeans. He grabbed his bag that he packed the night before with some notebooks and pens. He took his book that he wrote in last night from under his pillow and put it in the front pocket of his bag.

It was right after 6:45. He went to the kitchen to grab something for breakfast. He saw his father on the couch. Still wearing the clothes from the day before. The boy walked over to him and gently shook his father’s shoulder. The man turned over and looked at him.

“I’m going to get ready for school. You should go to your room before you have to go to work. I might make some noise and you need rest.” The boy says softly. The man gets up and rubs his face.

“Yeah sure. Just don’t miss the bus and don’t make too much noise.” he walks to the stairs hitting a box on the way. He stops and turns back to Hux. “Have a good day at school.” Finally he walked up the stairs to his room.

Nothing in the house has been really unpacked yet. Boxes cluttered the already small home. Hux walked to the kitchen and opened the box that had the name “ _Kitchen/plates/bowls”_ written on it.

The kitchen was all the same shade of white. The stove was older but functional. The counters had a couple stains but nothing he knew he couldn’t fix. The paint on the walls looked newly done which was an upside. He moved a box off the table so he could eat.

He took out a bowl and poured himself some cereal. He noticed an envelope on the counter before sitting at the table. The letter was from the school showing his schedule. Hux took a pen from his bag and wrote everything down on his planner.

Right before 7 am he washed his dishes and set them on the counter. Walking out the door making sure to lock it behind him, Hux went to the bus stop at the corner of his block. He wished he could drive to school. Another boy was standing across the street. He was wearing a black Green Day shirt. He also had dark jeans with holes in the knees. It looked like they were very worn down and boots. The boy looked back over to him and glared. Hux didn’t realize he was staring. Luckily the bus drove between them to stop the stares. Hux ran to the other side to get in. He sat in the front behind the driver. The bus went as soon as he sat down. He turned around to see the boy all the way in the back seat sitting sideways. He turned back around in time for the next stop. A taller girl with blonde hair came on right behind a smaller boy with dark brown hair. He sat right behind Hux. He leans over next to Hux’s ear.

“You know space is for girls. So you’re a girl.” he mocked. Hux just looked forward. “We should send all the girls to Jupiter because they’re more stupider.” He laughed.

Hux turned around and the boy sat back in his seat. “If we did that our population would be split in half and the human race would cease to exist,” he quickly snapped back, “Probably not a good idea”. Hux turned back around and the boy stopped.

When they got to school everyone rushed off the bus. Hux waited for everyone else. When he got off he looked at his planner. His first class was History Studies in room 187N. He walked through the front doors and found the office. He walked up to the lady at the front desk.

“Um by any chance do you have a school map?” He asked softly. The lady looked up at him.

“Yes right there.” She pointed to the many papers on the wall. He found the basket with smaller maps and grabbed one. Before he was about to leave he saw the boy from his bus stop with what seemed to be the principle.

“It’s barely seven and you already seem to get yourself in trouble. I don’t want to see you back here for the whole week or there will be worst consequences.” The man said. The boy just rolled his eyes. “I mean it Ben.” He walked back to his office leaving Ben. Again Hux was staring at the weird boy. He had wavy dark hair and brown eyes that then turned to him. The boy started to walk quickly toward him.

“You.” Ben growled. Picking up his pace. Hux quickly turned and ran out the door. He didn’t get far before the dark haired boy stopped him. Holding him against a locker he pushed on him hard to keep him still. “Who are you and why do keep following me?” he shouted. Hux tried to get free only making Ben push harder. Hux looked at him with stern eyes.

“There is no need to get angry. I’m not _purposely_ following you. We just happen to go to the same places. I’d advise you let me go. Don’t want to get in trouble again. Do you, Ben?” Hux snapped back. People started to stare. Ben stared at him and let Hux go.

“Don’t call me that.” Ben said quieter.

“Why not?” Hux asked rubbing his shoulder from where he hit the locker.

“People call me Kylo Ren. Not Ben.” Kylo said.

“Why Kylo Ren? That sounds ridiculous. I don’t see the difference with Ren. You just changed the first lett-” Kylo cuts him off.

“Just shut up already.” Kylo storms off. Hux takes a deep breath, looks at his map, and walks to his class.

He finds his room 187 and enters. He walks up to his teacher and hands him a slip.

“Hello B-”

“Just call me Hux. Thank you.” Hux interrupts. He quickly regretted it.

“Of course. Hux. I’m Mr. Kenobi.” He reaches out to shake his hand. Hux shakes it firmly. He hand straight red brown hair and a nice beard. He was young for a teacher. No older than his early thirties. “Alright you can sit right there next to Philberta. Back row on the far right.” He pointed to a blonde girl writing in a book. Hux walked over and sat down. He took out his notebook and wrote:

 

 

> _People at this school are… Interesting. Hopefully I don’t run into the idot_ **_Kylo_ ** _again. That would truly make this day worse. Part of me wants to see him again just so I can smart mouth him off._
> 
> _7:25 April 6, 1992_

 

Suddenly the blonde girl leans over to read Hux’s book.“Is that a diary?” She says a bit louder then Hux would like.

“What? No. It’s a journal.” Hux replies quickly.

“It’s a diary.” Philberta whispers. Hux closes the book and turns red. “Not that it’s a bad thing. It’s nice to look back on later. I had one but lost interest. Now I use this to write songs.” She held up a composition notebook covered in stickers from various bands. Hux just looked at the clock hoping class would start. She then leaned in closer. “Also don’t call me Philberta if you’d like to keep all your limbs.” This made Hux freeze. He doesn’t know why he was scared of her. She just gave that feeling. Other’s seemed to feel the same.

“Uh then what should I call you?” Hux asked nervously.

“Phasma. It’s my band name. You already met my other member Kylo I see.” She gestured to the notebook.

“Yeah he pinned me against the lockers. Thought I was following him. Which is absolutely ridiculous. I just live by him that’s all.” Hux realized he talked too much and stopped. Phasma had a big grin.

“That sure does sound like him. He may look scary and tough but he’s just a sarcastic asshole if you ask me.” She laughed slightly. Hux gave a small smile. “Really though don’t let him get to you. I’ll personally kick his ass if he tries at you again.” Right after Phasma spoke the bell rang.

After the awkwardness of a new class Hux and Phasma walked outside the classroom. They didn't say a word till the got to the end of the hallway.

“So what about your next class?” She finally said.

“AP Calculus in 238.” Hux said.

“Well I’m the other way. Hopefully I’ll see you later.” She smiled and waved.

After the long last hour of the day the bell finally rang. He walked to the buses when he heard a yell from behind him. He quickly turned around. It was Kylo with Phasma.

“Hey kid want to walk home with us?” Phasma asked waving her hand. Hux looked at the bus then back to the two friends.

“Sure.” Hux yelled back. He walked over to them.

“This is the kid I was talking about earlier.” Phasma said to Kylo. She shoved his shoulders.

“Oh yeah uh sorry about earlier. Just a bad day you know.” he said quietly. He flipped his hair out of his eyes and looked back at Phasma like we was looking at a mother telling her child to apologized.”So what kind of name is Hux?”

“It’s my last name. I don’t like my first name.” he quickly replied.

“And you mock me for not using my name.” Kylo joked. Phasma and Hux both laughed.

They all head back to their houses. Kylo and Phasma talked about various things. Hux just walked aside and listened. Replying to a couple questions.

“So where you from freckles?” Phasma asked. Hux narrowed his eyes at that new nickname she gave him.

“North Carolina.”

“What made you move to Ohio then?”

“My father. Not sure why here though. Usually just move around North Carolina.” he shrugged.

“Usually?” Kylo questioned.

“Yeah I move a lot. Third time this year actually.”

“Well welcome to Athens Ohio. The lame ripoff of the actual Athens.” Kylo mocked. They got to the front of Phasma’s house. It was a nice white house with red shutters. The yard was kept nice with sports equipment scattered around. She waved goodbye and ran inside the garage. The two boys didn’t talk for a while of the way. Hux decided to break the silence.

“Why are you suddenly so nice? Like are we friends now?” he said looking forward. Kylo looked over to him.

“You look like a nerd and I didn’t want you to get caught with the other nerds.” he laughed.

“Seriously?” Hux questioned.

“No,” he paused, “guess I just felt bad for accusing you I don’t know.” he shrugged.

“So you’re going to be my friend out of pity?” Hux raised an eyebrow.

“What! No! I want to be you’re friend because, well, you’re new and it’s always nice to get friends right of the bat. Even if you end up hating me. At least I can say I tried. Right?” Kylo shrugged. “And Phasma seems to like you and she doesn’t like people that often.” Hux stopped where he was walking. This made Kylo stop too. “Hey did I say something wrong?” Hux just froze. “Hey, Hux?” Kylo waved his hand in front of Hux’s face.

“His car. He’s at the house. I didn’t think. Fuck.” Hux grabbed his backpack straps.

“Wait who’s at your house? What are you talking about?” Kylo asked worried.

“My dad. I didn’t know he would be there. That’s why I walked back with you but if he’s back he’ll know I didn’t take the bus like I was supposed to. Fuck.” Hux looked worried.

“Hey don’t worry about it just say it’s my fault. I take the blame for most things anyway.” Kylo said patting Hux’s shoulder.

“No he’s not-” Hux stopped. “I should go.” Hux was going to run to his house till Kylo stopped him. “What are you?” Hux almost shouted.

“Dude the bus doesn’t come over here for another 15 minutes.” He ensured Hux.

“What?” Hux said looking at Kylo with relief.

“The bus takes forever to come back here. That’s why me and Phasma walk. We get home quicker.” Kylo smirked. “So just wait for the bus to come around and then go. Your dad won’t know.” Hux smiled.

“Alright. Where do we go for 15 minutes though? He’ll see us if we just stand in front of my house.” Kylo stopped and thought.

“We could go in my yard. I have a treehouse in the front.”

“A treehouse?”

“Yeah. My dad made it when I was younger. Still is pretty nice. Needs some cleaning though.” Kylo shrugged.

“Sure let’s go.” Hux said grabbing Kylo’s arm. They quickly ran to Kylo’s house. It was a light green house with flower beds around the front. There was a woman planting some flowers when they got in the yard.

“Hey mom! I’m going into the tree house with my friend!” Kylo yelled as they went to the large tree in the yard.

“What’s your friend’s name?” she looked back to them running.

“His name is Hux. He just moved in a couple houses down.” Kylo pointed to the latter. “Up there.” Hux started to climb up the tree.

“Alright. You and Hux be careful up there.” the woman went back to planting her flowers. Kylo and Hux got up to the top of the latter and went into the tree house.

“It’s nice up here. Empty but nice.” Hux said sitting down.

“Yeah haven’t put anything back up here since winter.” They sat in silence. “Look out the window. That’s where the bus should be.” He pointed at the side window. Hux looked out and saw his house.

“So sorry about that. It’s just my dad is _really_ strict. Just freaked me out a bit.” Hux said putting his head down.

“Don’t be sorry. It’s not that big of a deal really. Is your mom like that too?” Kylo asked.

“She uh no. She doesn’t live with us. I don’t see her.” Hux said quietly.

“Oh shit dude I didn’t-” Hux interrupted.

“I know you didn’t mean it.” Hux looked back to the window. Kylo was silent.

“Well if you ever want to you can come here whenever you want. The door is always open. Figuratively. We lock the doors.” Kylo stammered. This made Hux smile.

“Thanks I’ll remember that.” Kylo sat and talked about what there is to do in the town and suggested they go do something sometime. Hux agreed. The sound of a bus made both of them turn to the other window.

“Time to go.” Kylo rushed down the latter. Once Hux got to the bottom Kylo handed him his bag and walked over to across his house.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” Hux said as he walked across the street. Kylo waved goodbye.

Hux walked in through the front door. His father was at the table.

“I’m back.” he said softly. His father looked at him then back at his papers. Hux stood there for a moment and walked up stairs to his room.

His room still wasn’t fully unpacked. All that was set up was his bed, side table, and his small desk. The room was lit by the sun through his windows. It seemed calm and warm. He put his bag on his bed and took out his notebook. Sitting at the desk he wrote.

 

_I worry too much about things that don’t matter. This obviously isn’t healthy._

 

> _On a positive note for once I think my luck has changed. I met someone. His name is Ben but he calls himself Kylo. For a reason I don’t know or care. I already talked about him and I know I said I didn’t want to see him again or just talk him off but I walked back from school with him today. I also met a girl called Phasma. I met her in my history class. I know her real name but I’m not going to use it in the sake of the life of my limbs. She knows my real name. I told her during work time. Ben however doesn’t. I find that funny._
> 
> _While Kylo was kind of imitating at first he turned out to be really nice. Proves that you can’t judge someone from what they look like. He's been my first friend since I don't even remember when. Like I hung out with people yeah but Kylo is actually like a friend. There is just some things about him I can trust. Hopefully it stays like that and doesn’t change._
> 
>   
>  _3:47 PM April 6, 1992_


	2. River feels

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It gets gay

Before any of them knew it, summer was there. Past two months of school pass quick. The trio’s usual routine of sitting together on the bus and walking home. Making jokes and hanging out on Saturday nights. Hux helped Kylo get caught up with school work so he didn’t have to go to summer school. Kylo thought Hux was just being nice but Hux’s intentions were different. He wanted to be with Kylo the whole summer. 

It’s the night right after the last day of school. The group goes back by the path to the river. This is the first time Kylo and Phasma took Hux here.

“Here Hux take my hand it’s slippery here.” Phasma demanded holding out her hand.

“I don’t need to take your hand. I can handle myself thank you very much.” Hux objected. 

“Well don’t say I didn’t offer.” She walked down to the water.

Kylo and Hux stayed up by the path. Standing right next to each other watching Phasma lose her balance a couple of times and laughing. Which just resulted in Phasma throwing random objects at them and all of them laughing.

“Let’s go join her down there.” Kylo said grabbing Hux’s wrist pulling him along. 

“Fine.” He groaned.

They walked to the bottom of the river. It was hard to get down because of the trees, rocks, and steep slope. Kylo grabbed onto a branch immediately breaking it. Kylo slipped down a sandy spot. Holding tightly to a tree trunk, Hux grabbed his shirt to he couldn’t fall any further.

“Maybe I should hold your hand?” Hux joked. Kylo glared at him while he stood up and brushed off the dirt from his pants. He looked down at his hand that was now bleeding from scraping the tree branch. Kylo smiled and held out his bloody hand to Hux.

“Here.” Kylo reached out to touch Hux. Hux lept back.

“Get that disgusting hand away from me.” Hux said appalled. A moment later they got to the bottom to the river. Phasma was already taking off her shoes and setting them aside. The sand was warm from where the sun has been casting down on it. Kylo ripped off his old converse and through them in the sand. He rolled up his pants before going in the water with Pasma. 

“Hey Hux are you coming in or not?” Phasma yelled. It was a rhetorical question. She was going to grab him if he said no.

“Uh you know I don’t really think I should.” Hux said and shrugged. He stood at the edge of the river bank.

“Hux I will drag you in if you don’t get yourself in here.” Phasma jokingly threatened.

“She’s not lying.” Kylo said throwing a rock in the water that he just picked up.

Hux stood there. He didn’t know how she would get him. He thought she might just pick him up. Shoes and all. That would be a mess he’d rather avoid. He sighed and took off his shoes then setting them on a rock next to Phasma’s. He stepped into the water. He’s never liked the feeling of going into unclean water. It was cold and this made Hux shiver. He cringed and took another step.

“What’s with that face?” Kylo laughed. 

“I don’t like going in these types of things. Fuck off.” Hux snapped back. Kylo replied with sending a small splash at him. Hux screamed then glared back.

“Don’t test me.” Hux warned.

“Whatcha gonna do?” Kylo sassed.

“Well one put you in summer school. Your word usage is atrocious.” Hux said splashing back. This got the whole front of Kylo wet with the dingy water. He looked down at his clothes then back at Hux.

“Oh it’s on.” Kylo said sending a large splash at Hux. It ended up hitting both Hux and Phasma.

“Hey I wasn’t part of this!” She yelled.

“Well you are now!” Kylo yelled and ran away slowly in the water. 

Hux and Phasma ran after Kylo sending splashed as best they could. Kylo turned around and ran at Hux.

“You better not do what I think you're going to.” Kylo grabbed Hux and tackled him into the water. Both of them under the water.

“Oh my God. Kylo why did you?” Phasma yelled and ran over to where Hux was sitting in the water. He sat there with his head down. The water was up to Hux’s chest sitting down. Kylo stood up and put out his hand.

“Shit I'm sorry. I didn't think. Are you mad?” Hux’s shoulders started to quiver. Kylo quickly looked at Phasma with a worried expression. 

“What do I do?” He mouthed to Phasma. She just shook her head and shrugged. Suddenly Hux grabbed Kylo's hand, flipped him over and pulled him back in the water. He laughed as he dunked him under. He pulled him back up a second after.

“I said don’t test me.” Hux said with an angry expression. Kylo coughed out water as he got his hair out of his face. He looked up at Hux with confusion. All of them stayed in silence. Hux and Kylo just stared at each other. Kylo’s face grew red. He sunk down in the water up to his nose. Hux walked away to the shore. He sat down on a rock so he wouldn't get covered in sand. Phasma stood next to him. Kylo stayed in the water.

“You know he didn't mean it in a bad way.” She finally said. Hux didn't say anything. “I know him a lot better than you. I know when he really is sorry about something. He lies to his parents about being sorry but I know his real sorry look. The look he has right now is it. Go over to him so he can apologize.” Hux looked over to Kylo. Still moping in the water. His shoulders were dropped. As well as his eyes with smudged black around them. Hux sighed at how pathetic Kylo was being. 

“Fine.” he told Phasma.

“Well I have to leave. We have that trip to pack for today. Don’t kill each other while I’m gone.” she joked.

“Yeah have fun. See you when you get back.” Hux replied giving her a hug. She then left up the steep path.

Hux got up from his seat and walked over to the water. He sat down in the water next to Kylo. He was already wet so more water wouldn’t change anything. Kylo sat up more so his whole head was above the water. The water was just below his chest.

“Well.” Hux said a little more harshly than needed. Kylo looked at him. Strands of hair stuck to the side of his face.

“I’m really sorry I got you all wet.” Kylo said then smiled.

“Wow say that in a less dirty way.” Hux said crossing his arms.

“OK. Sorry I pushed you in the water. Better?” Kylo apologized and wiped away the strands of hair. 

“Much better. Thanks.” Hux said punching Kylo’s shoulder. 

They sat in silence watching the sun starting to set under the trees, listening to the water crash on the shore. 

“We should head back. Its getting late.” Kylo said getting out of the water.

“That’s the most logical thing you’ve said in a while.” Hux joked.

“Careful, Hux. I’ll push you in the water again.” Kylo walked over to where he put his shoes. “Ugh I hate wet clothes.” he whispered to himself. Hux walked out of the water putting his shoes back on. He finished tying them and looked up to see Kylo taking his shirt off. Hux immediately went red.

‘ _ Why is he taking off his shirt. No put that thing back on’ _ Hux thought. He quickly looked back at his shoes.

“Ready?” 

“Uh y-yeah I’m ready. Let’s go.” Hux stumbled. He was always collected but now he was a mess.  _ ‘What am I doing I’ve never liked Kylo like that. No I don’t like him. That’s ridiculous. It’s just the shock. Yeah that’s it.’   _ Hux thought to himself. They walked back to the top of the slope and Kylo put his shirt back on.  _ ‘No take it back off.’  _ his thoughts were everywhere.  _ ‘Wait no. No. No. Stop. He’s your friend. Your boy friend in matter of fact. Wait no not my boyfriend my friend who is a guy yeah stop.’ _ Hux shook his head.

“Hey. Earth to Hux. You OK?” Kylo looked concerned. 

_ ‘No you idiot I’m getting really flustered because you took your shirt off. This is dumb just forget about it’   _ Hux thought. 

“Yeah I’m fine. Let’s just get home.” Hux said quickly walking down the path.

They got to Hux’s house just as it go dark. Their clothes were still damp but not dripping anymore. 

“Well see you tomorrow, Hux.”

“Yeah till tomorrow.” Hux said quietly.

They both walked to their own houses. Kylo opened his front door to be met by Han.

“Oh hey Han.” he said quietly, shutting the door. Han had his arms crossed and a scowl on his face.

“Where were you. Don’t you know how late it is?”

“I know it’s dark out. We were at the river that’s all.”

“We?” he raised an eyebrow. Kylo hated when his father did this. He knew who he was with so why does he ask.

“Yeah we. Phasma, Hux, and I. Phasma left earlier so it was just me and Hux for the most part. I’m going to change now.” Kylo went to walk away from Han and he griped Kylo’s shoulder.

“What did you do?” Now he was pushing Kylo over the edge.

“Nothing illegal. Let me go.” Kylo shook off Han’s hand. He ran up to his room. Turning on the light to the dark room he pushed some books and clothes off his bed and lied down. He turned to look over at his grandfather’s WWII helmet. He found it while his mother and him cleaned out the old house. It was all Kylo had of his grandfather. He died before he was born so he never got to know him. It was pretty beat up but he kept it safe for the most part. He quickly changed and sat back down on the bed. A knock on the door stopped him from gazing at the old helmet. 

“Yeah?” he replied. The door opened to be his mom and Chewie. The big tibetan mastiff mix ran over to Kylo’s bed and made it his own. This is the reason Kylo needed a bigger bed. Kylo scratched his dog’s ear. “Hey Mom.”

“Hello. How was the last day of school?” The dreaded question he got asked everyday. 

“It was fine. Just a lot of tests but Hux helped me study so I think I did good.” 

“That’s good. Do you mind telling me why your father looks really angry?” she asked.

“I went to the river with Hux. He thinks we did illegal stuff but we just sat in the water. I don’t know why he doesn’t trust me. I’m way over all of the things in the past. Getting arrested once was enough to get it though to me.” Kylo lied back into Chewie’s soft fur.

“Alright that’s enough for me. Just stay out of trouble.”

“Always do,” he paused “Well now I do.” They both laughed.

“Goodnight, Ben” Leia said turning off the light. Kylo only let his parents call him Ben. Kylo curled up with Chewie and fell asleep.

Hux quietly walked through the back door. He tried not to make too much noise. His father came up from the basement. He stopped when he saw Hux.

“Where have you been?” he asked setting down a screwdriver. 

“I was with Kylo and Phasma. We just went to the river.” he said quietly. 

“Speak up next time and go change your clothes. You smell like fish. Also put out the trash.” he walked into the bathroom. Hux grabbed the bag from the can and walked outside. He put the trash in the big can and heard rumbling behind the cans. 

“What was that?” he kneeled down to look behind the trash. He heard a hiss and fell back. A small orange cat came out between the cans. Hux put out his hand. The cat came closer and smelled his hand. “Yeah that's a good kitty.” The small cat then bit his hand. “Ah what the fuck.” he pulled back his hand. The cat sat down and licked it paw. “Are you hungry?” He didn't see a collar. “Wait here.” Hux went inside and grabbed a couple pieces of ham from the fridge. He went back outside and saw the cat was just sitting in front of the door. “I don't know if you can have this but here.” he sits on the step and reaches out. The cat eats the first piece and comes closer. Hux gives the cat the rest of the meat. “Well I have to go now. It was nice meeting you.” he pet the cat one last time and went back inside. He got took a shower and put on old short and a t shirt and climbed in bed. He took his book out of his bag. Sighing he opened up the book trying to find an empty page. He clicked his pen and wrote: 

 

> _ So something weird happened today. Not only did I nearly drown Kylo, now I wish I did so I didn’t have to maybe confront him about this if it continues, but I got really flustered when I saw him take off his shirt. It’s really weird like it’s just Kylo. I’ve seen that before when I was over at his house one night. Now I can’t stop thinking about it. I hate him. _
> 
> _ 9:23 PM June 4, 1992 _


	3. Hold Me Just A Little Longer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lots of surprises. Luke shows up. You'll probably cry. Who knows.

Kylo woke to the loud bang of his door swinging open and Chewie rushing in. The dog leaped on Kylo but he stayed under the sheets. “Chewie down.” Kylo said grumbly. 

“Chewie can do what he pleases.” A familiar voice said. Suddenly there was a whole new weight on him.

“Whoa what?” Kylo fumbled around to get his head out of the covers. He pulled his head out and saw Hux sitting on his stomach with Chewie on lying heavily on his legs. “Hux! What? How?” Kylo shrieked. 

“Your mom let me in.” he laughed. Kylo turned a bright red. 

“Of course. Well, um can you leave so I can… uh, get dressed.” There was a short time of silence. 

“What do you mean get dressed?” Hux said narrowing his eyes.

“Well clothes are a nice thing to wear when you have company. Well most the time.” Kylo replied.

“You mean to tell me you don’t have anything on.” Hux said. Kylo looked awkwardly away and shrugged. “Dude!” Hux quickly jumped off him. “Dude!” He left the room quickly with Chewie by his side and closed the door behind him.

A moment later Kylo opened the door wearing black shorts and an old red shirt with a large hoodie. “Sorry about that.” he laughed. 

“That was not cool dude. I was on top of you.” After realizing what he said he went silent. “We are never talking about this.”

“Agreed.”

“You boys want breakfast?” Leia called from downstairs breaking the awkward stares.

“Yes!” They replied in unison. They ran down to the table. Han was already sitting down pouring himself a cup of coffee. 

“Hello Mr. Solo.” Hux said sitting in his chair next to him.

“Morning, Hux.” he said grumpily.

“Ah I’m starving. I didn’t eat since,” Hux paused and tried to recall the time. “Yesterday morning I think?” Han looked over to Leia with a worried expression. Hux and Kylo were about the same height, but Hux was much thinner. 

“Well then eat as much as you want. I can even make some you can take home if you would like.” Leia said carrying the plates of pancakes and sausage over to the table.

“Really?” Hux asked excitedly.

“Sure.” They ate their breakfast. When Kylo and Hux were done they put their dishes in the sink.

“Hey mom we’re going to go out for a while.” Kylo said while they both grabbed their shoes on.

“OK have fun and don’t do anything stupid, Ben.” She relied. Kylo just growned and him and Hux left.

Leia turned to Han, who was washing some pans.

“I’m actually worried about Hux. I think we should talk to his parents.” Han stopped and looked at her.

“It’s just his father. I’ve been over there once and he said it was just him and Hux.”

“That concerns me even more.”

“Look if there is something we can do, we will help but we shouldn’t just go and accuse.”

“That’s not what I’m saying. We’ll just wait and see then. If he needs help he will say something. I know it.” Han hugged Leia. 

“I’m sure everything is fine.”

 

Hux took Kylo to his backyard where he saw the cat a couple nights before.

“She was just behind the trash cans.” He pointed. They looked around the yard and didn’t see any sign of the cat.

“Yeah I don’t see anything.” Kylo said shrugging.

“She was here I swear. Here kitty kitty.” Hux continued to search.

“You look ridiculous.” Kylo laughed.

“Shut up, Ben.” Hux snapped.

“Hey!” 

“You started it. Wait. Is that? There she is!” Hux said, pointing to the bushes on the side of the fence. The cat crawled out and ran to Hux. Kylo stepped in and the cat stopped and hissed, getting really fluffy. Hux looked over to Kylo. 

“Move you’re scaring her!” he pushed him back and slowly went to the cat who was now growling. 

“Good.” Kylo crossed his arms. Hux put out his hand and the cat calmed down to smell it. Then it rubbed against his hand. 

“Nice kitty. I’m going to call you… um… Millicent. Yeah.” he picked up the cat patting her head.

“Now look Millie. This is Kylo. He may look mean, but he’s not.” Hux raised Millicent to Kylo. Kylo forcefully smiled and waved.

“Is this what we’re going to do today? Talk to a dumb cat.”

“How dare you. Millicent is not dumb. You’re dumb.” Hux said, turning away from Kylo.

They sat in the backyard playing with the cat for a while. Millicent finally warmed up to Kylo and sat on his lap. Hux just laughed at Kylo and how uncomfortable he looked. A car pulled in the driveway.

“My father is back.” Hux said, looking over to Kylo.

“Should I go?” Kylo asked.

“Probably. I’ll talk to you later.” Hux said quietly as his father got out of the car.

“What about Millie?” Kylo asked, “Where is she going to go?”

“Can you take her with you? I don’t want my father to see her yet.” Hux pleaded. Kylo nodded, picking up the cat from his lap. He stood up and put her into an inside pocket of his large sweater. Making sure her head was out he wrapped the sweater around to hide her. Hux’s father walked over to the both of them.

“Breandan, go inside I have to talk to you.” He said immediately walking to go inside.

The two boys looked back to each other 

“Well bye.” Kylo said walking away.

“Bye”

Hours passed and Kylo still hasn’t heard from Hux. Hux usually doesn’t call back when his father is home, but he wanted to know what to do with Millicent. He rolled over on his bed to see her lying in a pile of dirty clothes by his bed. He smiled at her.

“Maybe she’s not so bad.” He reached down and pet her head. Kylo heard footsteps and threw a light blanket over her before the door opened. It was Leia.

“Mom you can’t just open my door like that.” 

“Right but this is serious.” She sat down next to him. Her feet right next to the sleeping cat. Kylo looked down to the pile with worry. “I’m worried about your friend Hux. What’s it like at home for him? Is he OK?” She asked.

“Uh yeah I mean no, uh.” Kylo didn’t hear the question. All he could focus on was the cat inches from his mother. 

“Ben answer me. Do you know anything.” She said in a more serious tone. This brought his attention back. 

“I don’t know he doesn’t talk much about his dad, but from how I met him today he seems to be a really big dick.” he scoffed.

“Ben.” Leia warned.

“Well you asked.” Kylo said shrugging.

Leia sighed. “You’re right. OK well dinner is ready so wash up and come downstairs.”

“Got it.” Kylo hugged her and she left the room. Kylo took off the blanket to see Millicent still sleeping. She looked up at him and purred. “You’re a neat cat.” A loud bang from his window made him jump and quickly look to the window. He walked over and opened the shades. Hux was standing below with his head down. Kylo quickly opened the window and took out the screen quicker than he usually could. “Hux?” he whispered down. Hux looked up with tears down his face. The one side of his face red. Kylo’s heart stopped. “W-wait down there. I’ll be right there.” He managed to say. He quickly put the screen back so Millicent wouldn’t go out. He quickly ran out of his room, slamming the door behind him in anger. He rushed down the stairs almost tripping. He now had tears going down his face as he passed Leia and Han. He ran right out the back door also slamming that one. He saw Hux sitting on the ground. His forehead resting on his knees and his arms wrapped around his legs. He ran over to him and immediately wrapped his arms around him. Hux went very tense, then melted when he knew it was Kylo. “Hey. I’m - I’m here don’t worry. Don’t cry.” Kylo said, putting his head on Hux’s shoulder. Hux turned and hugged Kylo. He was shaking and Kylo held onto him tighter. “It’s OK.” Kylo said, putting his hand through Hux’s hair to calm him down.

“I hate. I hate him.” Hux choked out.

“What happened?” Kylo asked cautiously.

“He wanted to move- to move. I said I wasn’t going to go with and he complained that I - I was ungrateful. I told him he was irrational and he screamed even more. I - I was sick of it Ren. I didn’t ever do anything and he’s the one that thinks I’ll just take it. I told him he’s the reason mom left. I told him he kept me from her and he said I was the reason, calling my mom names that she abandoned us and never wanted me. I know that was wrong. She told me. She told me that she would come back and that’s why we’ve been moving so much. To hide me from her. I told him that I’m leaving to find her and he said I’m not going anywhere and he- he fucking- he hit me saying I’m staying with him. So I ran. Slammed the door in his face. I can’t do this anymore Ren.” Hux broke the hug and held onto Kylo’s shoulders. Kylo was speechless. He wiped the tears from Hux’s eyes. He put his hands gently on Hux’s on his face. 

“Don’t worry Hux. We will keep you safe. I’m not going to let him ever touch you again. I swear of it.” Anger filled Kylo’s face. Hux saw how much Kylo cared and gave a small smile. 

“Thank you, Ren.” Ren took a deep breath and nodded. 

“Let’s get you cleaned up. Mom made dinner if you would like some.” He put an arm around Hux and walked through the back door. There Leia and Han looked over to the two crying boys. Leia ran over to them. 

“What happened?” She reached to Hux. He shrugged off Kylo's arm and went into Leia’s embrace.   
“Well talk about it later.” Kylo said, wiping his eyes. Leia nodded and comforted Hux as much as she could. She looked over to Han, who now knew he had to do something. A knock on the door made Hux hold tighter to Leia.    
“I’ll get it.” Kylo said, marching to the door. He looked through the peephole to see a familiar face. He opened the door to Luke standing with a smile. “Uncle Luke?” Kylo said confused. Hux backed away from Leia and wiped his face. He’s heard a lot of things from Kylo about Luke. He didn’t think he would meet him like this.    
“Hey kid. Still rocking the smudged eyeliner I see.” Luke laughed.   
“I uh yeah, why didn’t I know you were coming?” Kylo looked over to Leia.   
“It was going to be a surprise.” She said shrugging.   
“I’ll be right back.” Kylo said to Luke and looked at Hux, gesturing them to leave. Hux followed Kylo to the bathroom where Kylo wiped Hux’s face with a cold washcloth. A large  bruise formed on the side of his face. “We can just go to my room if you don’t feel like going back out there.” He asked Hux. He just shook his head.    
“No I’ll be fine. You always talk about him so there is no way I’m going to interfere with you seeing him. It’s not like my father knows where I am. At least I hope not. Let’s just go. My face isn’t that bad. Is it?” He said, rubbing his face.   
“Enough to raise questions.” Kylo looked around. “Here put some of this on.” He picked up a bottle of concealer. Hux raised an eyebrow.   
“You’re kidding right?” He said taking the bottle.   
“That or make up some lie. Luke would go haywire to your dad if he had the chance.”   
“I’ll make something up.” Hux put down the makeup. “You should clean up your eyes. They’re a mess.” He said, handing him the rag. Kylo nodded. “Hey Kylo.” Hux said quietly.   
“Yeah?” Kylo looked over after cleaning one eye. Hux grabbed at the side of Kylo’s face and pulled it in to kiss his cheek. He quickly pulled away.   
“Thanks.” He turned and walked out of the room. Kylo stood in shock for a moment before cleaning his other eye and going to the kitchen. Kylo grabbed one of the step stools and sat at the table.   
They ate their food in silence till Luke spoke.   
“So Kylo who is your friend there?”   
Hux looked up to Luke, who was sitting across from him.    
“I’m Hux. Kulo has told me a lot about you.” Luke smiled at his response.   
“Hopefully all splendid things. If not, he’s lying.” They both laughed. This made Kylo smile. He was calm knowing that Hux was safe here. With him. With Luke. With his family. He didn’t want him to leave.   
After dinner the two said their parting goodbyes to Luke.   
“Keep out of trouble kid.” Luke whispered to Kylo giving him a hug.   
“I’ll try.”   
“Call if you ever need me. Don’t forget that. You’re my favorite nephew.” He ruffled Kylo’s hair.   
“I’m your only nephew.” Kylo smiled.   
“Doesn’t stop you from being my favorite. Goodbye, guys. It was a lovely dinner.” With that Luke was gone and Hux was clinging to Kylo’s arm.    
“Let’s go upstairs.” Hux nodded.   
  
  
“Milliecent has been sleeping since I brought her back. She’s a pretty lazy cat.” Kylo pointed at the cat that was sleeping in a ball on his bed.   
“Cats sleep for 20 hours. They’re not lazy. That’s just how they are.” Hux sat down next to her stroking her side.   
“But when I sleep 20 hours I’m lazy.”   
“Yeah, you are.” Hux laughed. Kylo sat next to Hux.    
“Are you OK?” Kylo grabbed Hux’s hand. Holding it gently in his. Hux’s hand was much smaller than Kylo’s. Neverless it fit perfectly.   
“I don’t know. No. I’ll be fine. I’ll make it, but,” Hux paused, looking up at Kylo. “I don’t want to keep doing this. Don’t know how much longer I can.” He leaned on Kylo’s shoulder. “I want to run away for good. To somewhere he would never find me. People break from the grid all the time. Make a new life. You know that stuff. After I’ve been missing for so long they’ll just declare me dead. Problem solved.” Hux’s voice cracked. Attempting to hold back.   
“Then I’ll go with you. I can’t just let you go alone. I won’t allow it.” Hux sat up toward him.    
“You can’t. You have family here. They would be devastated if you left. You can’t leave them. They love you. No one loves me here. I can just come and go. You can’t.”   
“Don’t say things like that. If you’re leaving I’m going too. No if, ands, or buts.”   
“No, Ren.”   
“Yes. I have lots of money saved and we can go together.”   
“Ren. You can’t.”   
“I’m going with!” Kylo yelled. Hux flinched away. Kylo’s face dropped. “No, no, no I’m sorry I didn’t mean it.” He reached out to Hux.   
“Don’t touch me!” Hux growled.     
“Hux. I-”    
“Why can’t you get this through your thick head? I don’t want you to come. I want you to be happy and safe here.” Hux stood up to yell down at Kylo.   
“I won’t be happy here without you.” Kylo choked out. Hux froze. “I won’t be happy. Now that I know you. Now that you’re a part of my life. I don’t want you to go, OK. I don’t want you to go, but I want you to be safe. It’s selfish, I know. I should let you go. Really, there’s no way I can stop you. Just don’t say no one here loves you. Don’t say that.” Kylo stood up and grabbed both of Hux’s hands. “I do, Hux. I love you.” Hux turned pale. Tears forming in his eyes. “Hux are you OK?”   
“I’m going to be sick.”    
“What?”   
“I’m going to be sick!” Hux covered his mouth and stumbled out of the room.   
Hux locked himself in the bathroom. Kylo tried to open the door.   
“Hux! Hux! Are your OK?” Kylo knocked on the door.   
“No. I feel so sick. My vision is so blackening.”   
“Just open the door. I’ll help you.” Kylo put his head on the door.   
“I can’t. I can’t.” He could tell Hux was crying. Kylo remembered the key. He looked up and the key was in the door frame. He unlocked it and took a little cup near the sink filling it of water from the sink. He sat down next to Hux and handed it to him.    
“It’s going to be OK. Just drink this.” Hux took the small cup and drank some water. After some time has past Hux finished off the water and has calmed down.   
“Thank you. I don’t know what that was.”   
“It’s OK.”   
“Stop saying that.” Kylo nodded. Hux reached for Kylo’s hand and they met halfway. “I should tell you something.”   
“Anything.”   
“I like you. I like like you. I was scared to tell you because I was scared you would hate me or be grossed out. That you would never want to see me again. When you told me you actually love me. I- I don’t know. It didn’t feel real. Like a big weight lifted off me. Guess my body couldn’t handle that much.” He squeezed Kylo’s hand. Letting out a big yawn.   
“Let’s go sleep. It’s been a long day for you.” Kylo helped Hux up. He gave Hux a shirt of his to sleep in. They lie down close to each other in the bed. Hux holds Kylo tightly around his waist. He quickly buried his head in the crook of Kylo’s neck. He never wanted to let him go. Kylo slowly drifted to sleep. His face being tickled by the ginger’s hair.   


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow sorry this took so long to update :( I've been writing other things as well. I'll try to get another chapter in very soon ???


	4. Update !

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> just a little update on the next chapters

Hey so sorry this hasn't been updated in forever. All lot happened and I gave up on writing for a while but with TLJ coming out I really got back into kylux and I started to write the rest of this! It won't be as how I exactly planned but I will try my best to complete this! And get past 10,000 words ah!! The next chapter should be out by the end of this week and the rest to quickly follow!! Thank you for reading!!


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